The 10 Most Valuable Things I Have Learned In My Life
Happy #selflove sunday y’all!!
In honor of turning 24 a few days ago- I wanted to write up this blog on the 10 most valuable things I’ve learned in my life thus far. Now, as you may know, I have been through quite a lot in these 24 years. I’ve lived/experienced/overcome chronic anxiety, thousands of panic attacks, body image issues, people pleasing, low self- esteem, bullying, being in a toxic relationship when I was 16, a 7-month long health scare and starting my own business at 20 years old after leaving college. Throughout my life, I have experienced first- hand what life can throw at us. I have learned so much in my lifetime (hence why I do what I do) and with that being said…. HERE ARE THE TOP 10 PIECES OF WISDOM:
1.) Do not take what others do or say personally
This was a hard one (still is) for me to TRULY take my own medicine. Growing up, I was always super sensitive and highly intuitive. I can just read people’s energy and know if I will like them/get alone with them or not. But, I have had to learn that when people say or do things that bug you, make you anxious or angry- you have to just realize that the only way you would get annoyed or take it “personally” is if you keep thinking about it over and over again. Replaying it in your head, doesn’t change what happened in the moment. But forgiving yourself internally and focusing on something that makes you happy will always shift how you are feeling
2.) Your thoughts are POWERFUL
From ages 3-17, I struggled every day with racing thoughts, panic attacks, negative thoughts and anticipating the worst for future situations. I had to work through it and get to the root, through a lot of therapy, of why I had a fear of change and thought so negatively. Even though, on the outside I was extremely positive and always a go-getter, I really struggled with chronic over thinking and something my mom used to say to me, is something I still say to myself when I feel like I am struggling… she used to tell me, “ Don’t you want to feel better, you are creating all of this in your mind”. How powerful is that? It’s the absolute truth!!! We all deserve to feel our best, especially with our self-talk and thoughts. Anytime, you feel stressed or anxious- check in with your thoughts, they are always creating how were feeling.
3.) Don’t alter who you are to please other people
This one hits a soft spot for me because when I was a teenager, I was the biggest people please ever! I didn’t want anyone to have a reason to not like me. I struggled with trying to be the best, funniest version of myself to other people. I was struggling with so much at such a young age but I hated confrontation or any drama. I just wanted to have everyone be happy and like me. I felt like a chameleon that adjusted their colors wherever they went to match their environment. It was draining and just plain exhausting to have to keep up and trying to be liked by everyone. But now, at 24, through many trials I have understood on a soul level that that’s not real life. You cannot change yourself for other people’s approval or for it to be “comfortable”. You may not want to rock the boat or cause friction. The thing about people pleasing is that, it doesn’t do you any good. Yes in the moment, it may feel easier or that you are making it more convenient for the other person- but in the long run you will feel more confident and happy by saying how you feel and doing what is right for you! Also, to me it just feels bad to constantly be feeling not like yourself. You just feel off- whether you are in a relationship with the intentions of trying to “please” someone or you people please when making friends. It’s not a good habit to get into, and it’s way better in the long run to be yourself. The best way to stick up for yourself is to stay true to yourself and what you believe in. Live authentically for you, and the right people will flow into your life.
4.) Overthinking and comparing yourself ruins the joy of life
Yes, we all have a purpose here on earth, but what I have realized with starting my business and accomplishing my goals is that comparing yourself to other people, in any way shape or form is a recipe for feeling worse. Same goes for overthinking, it makes you feel like you are on autopilot and not really in the current moment. That’s how you will miss out on your own miracles and joys in life by thinking too much and comparing yourself. When I was in 7thgrade, I had a mullet haircut, wore neck-gear at nighttime, I was (and still am pale) and I strongly disliked how big my forehead was. I was made fun of at school for it a few times for how big it was. I would just laugh it off while feeling my eyes start to well up and burn and like there was a lump in my throat. That ultimately led me to develop this self-talk towards the end of 7thgrade where I would, in my head, compare myself to other girls when I saw them walking in the school hallways. Maybe one girl was more tan than me, had a smaller forehead or wore cuter clothes. Whatever it was, I had this automatic thought process of assuming that someone’s looks defined them and that because of their looks, then that’s why they had a boyfriend, drove a certain car, etc. It was a sad way to think, because god made you and I, exactly the way we were supposed to be. I have come to love my forehead, because scientifically speaking, people with large foreheads are extremely smart! IT’S TRUE, LOOK IT UP!
5.) Trust your gut feelings, they are ALWAYS right
You know that little voice in your head, heart or gut? The one that is always speaking to you in big or small ways? Well my friends, that is called your intuition! We all have one and we all have situations that would best benefit us vs ones that would drain us. It’s up to us to decipher what the red flags/pits in our stomach mean. Example: when I was in high school, I dated a guy who had some major problems. In the beginning, it was fun and I was 16. I loved helping other people and I had that “I will save him” mentality, so that’s why I attracted him into my life. Because I am an empath, and a huge giver. Towards the end of our relationship (despite ignoring what other people said ( FYI a huge red flag when the closest people to you are noticing something off)) I started feeling like nothing was going right. Our communication was off, I felt super drained and not happy and there was just no trust. I felt like I was being emotionally messed with and he just had so much baggage. It wasn’t right, because it didn’t FEEL right. I always tell that to everyone, on how they know they will be in the right relationship, how they know they’ve met the one- trust me when I say this, it will FEEL right. It will go right, it will flow, it will happen. You won’t have a sinking pit in your stomach all the time or feel anxious when they text you. So, moral of the story- whether it’s about a boyfriend/girlfriend, living situation, finances, business ventures, family stuff or your health- TRUST YOUR GUT FEELINGS, WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. LEAN INTO YOUR INTUTION. We have a built- in GPS that just knows what to do.
6.) Trust god/the universe’s timing
If my health scare taught me anything- it’s that there is something mystical/other-wordly/ ethereal about life. The 7 month’s that I endured being misdiagnosed by western medicine doctors, was awful and scary as hell. But, eventually being diagnosed with the strep virus by the Medical Medium, Anthony Williams- is what opened my eyes to the spiritual world. I mean the odds of getting proper healing done by a medical medium and that being the only protocol that actually made the pain in my body go away was a miracle. It still reminds me to this day to be open to life’s timing, not yours. Yes, we can work hard (and should), be on time, be consistent and be kind to others. But, I know that things happen for a reason. Whether it’s a crazy serendipitious moment, finally getting something after years of working towards it, a coincidence or running into an old friend. Timing is everything and my health scare truly allowed me think extra deeply about my time on earth and what kind of effect I wanted to have on other people. There is a peace with knowing what is MEANT for you, will come to you. No, it’s not an excuse to be lazy or not try- but it helps when I can start feeling anxiety or like I start comparing myself to other motivational speakers, etc. TRUST THE TIMING OF YOUR LIFE! Things happen when they are meant to!
7.) Never be afraid to stick up for yourself!
I was raised to be polite, kind and loving. That has helped me SO much in life and especially my business, but at one point I did struggle with asking for help or sticking up for myself. Example: when I was younger, I used to get super car sick. Unless I was sitting in the front seat, with fresh air or AC and a sprite in my hand- it was game over for me. Especially since my family had a beach house in Stinson Beach, where the car ride to it was about two hours and full of really windy roads. Those uncomfortable car rides, sometimes with other families or friends in the car as well- taught me the power of simply asking for what I need. I would have a mental back and forth in my head and feel the sweaty palms because I was about to ask if the driver could roll a window down or If I could switch seats with the passenger, but I knew it would make me feel better I just had to take this leap and ask for what I needed. One of my favorite quotes is, “Closed mouths don’t get fed”. Meaning, people can’t read your minds, If you don’t ask for what you want then how will you get it?
8.) Manifesting is real!
Everything we think about, has a memory and emotion tied to it like a balloon string tied to the actual balloon. I have noticed in my life that what I focus on trickles into my real life. Maybe It’s having a boyfriend, making more money, traveling to fun places or seeing my dreams come to fruition. It’s crazy to me, to think back on when I was in High School- every day after school, I would race (literally) home to watch Rob Dyrdek’s show, Fantasy Factory and The Buried Life on MTV. I was obsessed with them and while I was struggling with anxiety and getting good grades, I felt so drawn to these shows because they were all about entrepreneurship and creative/outside the box people. It was an escape from my reality and to say they had a massive impact on me would be an understatement. Now, at 24, I live in Los Angeles and have met tons of people who have this energy, as well as meeting Rob Dyrdek and all The Buried Life guys! I would have never thought in a million years that I would start my own motivational speaking business, write books, blog, speak, travel the world and meet all my role models that I looked up to so much while growing up. Point being, it’s never too late to start persuing your dreams and remember how powerful visualization and positive thinking are!
9.) Just do it
I think the number one thing that people regret at the end of their life is not taking action on their passions, desires, dreams and goals. We only get a certain amount of time on this earth and life can change in an instant. Remember that if you have a goal or want to accomplish something- JUST DO IT! Just start! Start making business cards, start making phone calls, start making a website, building a team, hiring an agent, taking headshots or using the power of social media! With my business, I just started. I had no help from my parents or anyone, I hustled and started speaking for free at ymca’s and boys girls clubs! I went to toastmaster public speaking classes, made a youtube channel, made business cards and networked like crazy. Now, after four years I am getting a publicist, I have given a TEDx talk, been on the news and written three books! I am still have the “just do it” mentality and I bet all of your hero’s and role models think the exact same way. Don’t make excuses, make it HAPPEN!!!
10.) Start loving yourself right now
This one is a biggie. 15 year old Megan used to struggle with loving herself and I vividly remember, having meltdowns and crying fits because I didn’t like my body. For my junior prom, I purposefully didn’t eat that much and ran like 5 miles a day to try to look skinny and tan in my dress. I remember about four days in, I had a headache and felt so tired and my moody swings were off the charts. I would snap if someone chewed something and made noise. I struggled with loving myself starting at age 12, when I was going through puberty and the transition from Elementary school to Middle school triggered so much negative self-talk. I would text my mom every day and say she had to take me to this store to buy certain clothes (this is in like 2007, so were taking Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, UGG’s, True Religions lol). It was hard because I felt like I was never ENOUGH. I thought I was too pale, that my forehead was too big, that my arms were too bulky, that my hair looked like a mullet and that I wasn’t even pretty enough to have a boyfriend. It’s sad because I spent so much time hating on myself and beating myself up about my weight, body parts that I “didn’t” approve of. I struggled and it’s something I like to speak openly about because I know there are so many young girls and boys who feel not good enough or that when they have a new pair of jeans or a new shirt then they will be happier. But true self love is all about putting in the effort every-day to flip your thoughts and do things that make you feel good. You only get one life to live- how to you want to spend it?