How I Turned My Thoughts Around

November 4, 2019

HOW I TURNED MY THOUGHTS AROUND

What does it mean to turn your thoughts around? Like truly to stop and just observe what’s going on in your mind? How can one do this? I learned my triggers and negative cycles when I saw a therapist for the first time at 14. Is there a feeling of completion when we find out the root of why we think the way we do? A finish line of, “yes I’ve made it! I finally love myself and I am done thinking negatively?”. Or is it just something that we have to work at every day? Me and self-love/anxiety go WAYYYYYYYY back. When I was as a young as 12 years old, I found myself starting to compare my body, face, clothing, etc to other people, especially towards other girls! It then turned into chronic anxiety. See comparison, low self esteem or not feeling good about yourself go hand in hand!

I became so accustomed to comparing myself that I literally would go on autopilot in the morning, and for the rest of the day compare myself to other girls( at school, at parties, online, etc). Whether I was aware of it or not, every time I did compare myself- it was like I was etching away another tally on myself that I was justifying that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough or worthy of a boyfriend or wearing certain clothes( only if I was tan or toned enough). Which in turn made my anxiety worse! It was a bumpy road that took many years of trying to fill this void and solve the mystery, of why I didn’t love myself. Now, I really understand that we feed our minds everyday( every second) just like we feed our bodies. We get to choose what fuel ourselves with. Thinking negatively is like eating McDonald’s and expecting to feel amazing. If you wanna feel good, you should “think” Whole Foods, Erewhon, Sprouts, etc.

I think everyone in their teenage years can feel not good enough or they start comparing themselves. But, if I now had a moment where I could sit with 16 year old Megan and tell her anything…. It would be to stop comparing yourself to other people and enjoy your body where it’s at right now. To stop wishing she were more in shape, or someone else. To HAVE FUN AND REALIZE THAT LIFE GOES BY QUICKLY. I pray that teenagers, especially girls, start practicing routines and self-care habits that make themselves feel beautiful and confident.

 

Xoxo,

Megan G

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