Dear Mr. X,
Was I not enough? Was it because of my brown hair? The dimples on my thighs. The stretch marks on my hips. Did I not do it for you? Please let me know. Did you choose someone skinnier? Maybe a blonde? Maybe a girl that was taller? See, you left with no reason. You gave me no closure, only the anxious thoughts in my mind. For the past five months, I’ve been sitting on this horrible merry-go-round ride, trying to desperately get off. I’ve been wondering things like; Do you ever think of me? Do you daydream about my eyes, my smile or my funny sense of humor? I have to tell you Mr.X, when you left I felt like my world got ripped apart. Didn’t you want me enough to face your demons? I guess I wasn’t worthy of your pain, discomfort or healing. You wanted different. Why? It’s all I ask. Because since you left, I’m not the same. I have dreams about all the reasons why you could’ve left me. It gives me something to think about, but it hurts. When you came into my life many months ago, you gave me a glimmer of hope. You brought me back to life. For that, I thank you. All of the fun times, the bliss and happiness is something I’m forever grateful for. Since you’ve been gone, I’ve found another level of strength and determination, I never knew possible. So I miss you, but I also thank you because you gave me the worst pain and the best motivation simultaneously. I miss you so badly. I know that you’re long gone now and I’m left with only my memories. Even though they are foggy and hazy, I still clutch onto them like my favorite necklace. I miss you, but thank you for giving me a new piece of me.
The girl that you left